Losing weight. Eating healthier. Getting spending under control. These are a few of the biggest New Year's resolutions today...and they've been around for quite a while. Ever wonder why that is? Because people often approach resolutions as an all or nothing approach (which is the true definition: a firm decision to do or not to do something). "Either I lose the weight/eat healthier/manage my finances better, or I'm a failure". (Societal messages and expectations are a huge influence as well-but that's for another blog). With this harsh of an expectation to completely change something that we've done for so long, it's no wonder why so many people "fail", give up and restart only to repeat this cycle. I'm going to offer a different perspective that will shift your mindset so you actually achieve your goals and continue with the progress.
The first thing you need to do is toss out "resolution" and shift from a succeed or failure perspective to one of identifying changes you want to make...and why you want to make them. If your goal is to lose weight ask yourself "why do I want to lose weight?" It is to be healthier? to look better in your clothes? to slim down for a specific upcoming event? to get that revenge body after a break-up? The "why" is so important because it sets the tone for your motivation. The "why" moves you from a mindset that something is wrong or bad with you to one of wanting to focus on something that serves you better so you can live the life you want to live.
Which brings me to the next step: motivation. Really looking at what the purpose is will give bring awareness to you about what's important to you and what your values are. If your goal is to be healthier-what does not mean to you? Being able to keep up with your kids, having a easier time going up stairs, reducing medication (*always work with your doctor*), improving your mental health (refer to this blog to learn more: https://www.awarenesstowellnessllc.com/post/integrative-nutrition-for-mental-health), to feel more comfortable in your clothes are all valid reasons to focus on losing weight. To prove to others you are worthy, respectable, or good enough are reasons that only hold you back from successfully making the necessary changes. Why? Because there's a deadline/end point to your goal rather than making the needed lifestyle changes to not only meet your weight loss goal but to sustain the progress you've made. Motivation matters.
After you've identified your goal, why this goal is important to you, and what is motivating you, the next step is to break down the goal into reasonable and achievable steps. Let's stick with the example of losing weight. Steps including meeting with your doctor (to determine what a healthy weight is for your specific body, reviewing types of exercises and foods are appropriate for you, and get resources), researching meals and snacks that will meet your body's needs (or connecting with a dietitian or nutritionist), stopping in at local fitness centers to learn about what they offer, and time management (how and when will you set aside time and energy for researching gyms or finding new recipes, when will go grocery shopping, what classes are offered at the gym that work with your schedule, how will these changes impact your budget, etc.).
I want to pause for a moment to really dive into what I said about "reasonable and achievable" steps. Is it reasonable to go to the gym 7 days a week? Not for most people. Is it achievable to make a healthy dinner from scratch every night? Not likely. Is losing 30 pounds in 2 months doable? Nope and definitely not healthy. Instead, focus on what you can do. Getting to the gym 3-4 times a week is a realistic goal; making healthy dinners 2-3 times a week is doable; taking 7 months to lose 30 pounds is achievable....for many. However, you are you and only you know what is reasonable and achievable for you. I stress that you must allow yourself flexibility and compassion when things don't go according to plan. I work with my clients on mental flexibility a lot-why? because it's hard! But remember the definition of "resolution"-all or nothing thinking doesn't promote success. Tips: finding a class or a machine that you really enjoy along with trying new workouts will keep the gym interesting and fun. Crock pots/instant pots are a great way to save time and you can make a lot of food-healthy leftovers, anyone?
Consistent follow through is challenging! I don't care if you're the most organized, type-A, have a flexible schedule-holding ourselves accountable to put in the work, time, and energy is hard! This part, like everything before, must be reasonable. Ideas for this could be an accountability buddy (someone you check in with regularly. This could be a friend, spouse, coach, or your doctor), a tracking technique (perhaps a calendar you check off or an app that you receive the vibration on your watch you achieve your exercise goal), and (maybe the most important) is having support from others. If you have someone who is working on the same/similar goal, they can empathize with the challenges and celebrate the wins along with you. Your spouse could share the responsibility of making healthy meals (bonus if you can get your kids involve and develop those healthy eating patters early!). Meeting in a support group can help with challenging that mental flexibility and offer encouragement.
Making a lifestyle change is the theme with New Year's Resolutions...or shall I say Improving Myself Goals (be creative in how you capture what you're doing to be serve you). Most people stick with resolutions for a few weeks and after a few months, the majority will give up and lose hope because of a "fail" (aka lack of mental flexibility). Want lasting changes to achieve your goals and continue a healthy lifestyle? Identify what you really want, what your motivation is, reasonable and realistic goals and timelines, and get yourself some support!
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